Teen Breakup Violence, Part 2: At-Risk Emotions – Shrinking It Down

at-risk emotions, connected heart jigsaw puzzle pieces over yellow background

By Khadijah Booth Watkins, Associate Director and Gene Beresin, Executive Director

Topics: Behavioral Issues, Relationships

Content Warning: Today’s episode is the second in a two-part series on teen relationship violence. It may be difficult for some of our listeners.

When we look underneath a young person’s anger, or shame, or grief, there is often a hidden need that’s not being met. Learning how to identify and address these hidden needs is a skill we can all build over time. And doing this is a critical part of fostering healthier relationships and preventing tremendous pain to ourselves and to others.

Last week on our podcast, we began a difficult but important conversation about teen breakup violence through the lens of Lauren Dunne Astley’s story, an 18-year-old young woman who died at the hands of her former boyfriend. This week, Gene and Khadijah welcome a very special guest to continue the conversation – Malcolm Astley, Lauren’s father.

Based on much research over the years, and his efforts through the Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund to develop violence prevention programming in schools, Malcolm helps us take a closer look at the concept of “at-risk emotions” in young people. What they are, the process it takes to recognize and unpack them, and how caring adults can help teens build the skills they need to respond to these at-risk emotions in a healthy way.

Thank you for joining in this conversation. If you have a question or something to share related to healthy teen relationships or teen relationship violence, please write to us.

Media List

Included below are more resources on relationship violence and today’s conversation.

Teen Breakup Violence, Part 1 (MGH Clay Center)
Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund (LDAMF Official website)
Sudbury – Wayland – Lincoln – Domestic Violence Roundtable
Unexpected Childhood Death: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Surviving Siblings and Parents (Journal of Clinical Child Psychology)
Review: James Gilligan, Preventing Violence (British Medical Journal)
Why Shame Sucks (Especially for Kids) and How You Can Stop It (HuffPost)
Shame in psychotherapy with adolescents (Journal of Child Psychotherapy)
Negative Emotions as Risk Factors for Self-Directed Violence and Intimate Partner Violence in Chinese College Students (Journal of Interpersonal Violence)
Discovering Who I Am: The Critical Role of Identity (MGH Clay Center)
10 Tips On Helping Teen Boys Express Their Feelings (HuffPost)
“How Can I Help You Say Goodbye” (Patty Loveless, YouTube)
10 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship (One Love Foundation)
Lean On Me (Bill Withers, YouTube)
Cain and Abel: Violence, Shame and Jealousy (Pastoral Psychology)
“The Hill We Climb” (ABC News, YouTube)

If you found this post helpful, please also watch the LDAMF Foundation short video on “Escaping Breakup and Relationship Violence” here:

Music by Gene Beresin

Episode produced by Sara Rattigan

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Khadijah Booth Watkins, Associate Director

Khadijah Booth Watkins, MD, MPH, is associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), and the Associate Director of the Child and...

To learn more about Khadijah, or to contact her directly, please see Our Team.

Gene Beresin, Executive Director

Gene Beresin, MD, MA is executive director of The MGH Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, and a staff child and adolescent psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital. He is also...

To learn more about Gene, or to contact him directly, please see Our Team.